Duct Tape Blues

I had to go to the hardware store today and I had to get duct tape. I was so embarrassed I actually put some paint supplies in the cart as well, even though I didn't need them. I didn't want to seem like I had put off creating a safe room in my house for the upcoming nuclear, biological and chemical warfare. I avoided the cashier's eyes as I checked out. So now I can hold up my duct tape (made in china), and cheer with my fellow americans and shout "I have protection". I did this in the mall and several woman gave me the eye. Did you know that the military has a 3 letter acronym for Nuclear Biological Chemical warfare? It is NBC. They also have another TLA (Three Letter Acronym) called KFC. It stands for Kuwait Field Chicken. The soldiers put chickens in small cages and put them on the hoods of their vehicles. If the chicken dies, you will crap in your pants before you get your chem suit on. Miners used canaries in mines to see if there was any poison gas in the mines. Our soldiers are using chickens. It is not a bad idea. I wonder what the local city ordinance is on having live poultry on the premises? I bet I could sell a ton of them. If we sold millions of rolls of tape with an orange alert. I could retire if I got in early and cornered the chicken market in my home town. If I miss out, I could go to plan B. I could sell them little cages which they could attach to their BMW's and mini-vans hoods. Maybe I could even sell them some industrial washer fluid to clean the chicken crap off their windshields as well.