Thursday, September 18, 2003
Funny Rummy
Donald Rumsfield has had a long and distinguished careers in public service and in business. However, his policy decisions, his behavior and his many public comments has shown that his best years are behind him. He is now 71, perhaps it is time for him to retire and spend some time with his grandkids, because he has become America’s answer to Saddam’s Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf, “Comical Ali”
Does everybody remember Comical Ali, the Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf who become a cult figure with his wild claims and colorful language.
He would stand before the world, every morning to brief the newsmen on the status of the War. He was Saddam’s man, charged with giving the Iraqi side of the story.
Here is a selection of some of Ali’s quotes:
On an air attack on Najaf, he said: "What they say about a breakthrough [in Najaf] is completely an illusion. They are sending their warplanes to fly very low in order to have vibrations on these sacred places . . . they are trying to crack the buildings by flying low over them."
Early in the campaign, al-Sahhaf accused the Allies of booby-trapping pencils.
"The authority of the civil defense ... issued a warning to the civilian population not to pick up any of those pencils because they are booby traps," he said. He added that British and American forces were "immoral mercenaries" and "war criminals".
At one point in the campaign, Al-Sahaf said the Iraqis had "shot down a lot of those cruise missiles" and said the war's impact was "trivial."
Who knew that Rumsfield would become Al-Sahaf’s american counterpart? Maybe Rumsfield has been this way for a while and his recent mega-exposure to the media highlighted the character flaws, which made him into this sad comical figure.
Here are some of the many unfortunate comments he has made:
THE KABUL SITUATION
Things will not be necessarily continuous. The fact that they are something other than perfectly continuous Ought not to be characterized as a pause. There will be some things that people will see. There will be some things that people won't see.
And life goes on.
—Oct. 12, 2001, Department of Defense news briefing
WMD IN IRAQ
"It's an enormous country - you know, it's bigger than Texas! [unclear word]'s big, I guess - I haven't looked lately."
"I have so many things to do at the Department of Defense," Rumsfeld said during an interview aboard his plane, which stopped in Ireland to refuel on the way back to Washington. "I made a conscious decision that I didn't need to stay current every 15 minutes on the issue. I literally did not ask. . . . I'm assuming he'll tell me if he'd gotten something we should know."
THE WAR IN IRAQ
'Oh my goodness, the requirement for dumb bombs was about ten times more than we thought we needed, and the requirement for smart bombs was, er, some multiple of what we actually thought we would need ... more - we needed more than we thought - then what you learn from that is that you learn to go back and change the quote requirement - and drop one and increase one."
CLARITY OF COMMUNICATIONS
" You're right, this is very confusing and will continue to be so."
"The only way I know how to reply to that is to give you my blank look!"
I think what you'll find, I think what you'll find is, whatever it is we do substantively, there will be near-perfect clarity. As to what it is.
And it will be known, and it will be known to the Congress, and it will be known to you, Probably before we decide it, but it will be known.
—Feb. 28, 2003, Department of Defense briefing
As we know, There are known knowns. There are things we know we know. We also know. There are known unknowns. That is to say we know there are some things We do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns, the ones we don't know we don't know.
-Feb. 12, 2002, Department of Defense news briefing
"I believe what I said yesterday ... I don't know what I said, er, but I know what I think, and ... well, I assume it's what I said."
"I'm inclined not to," the secretary replied. "I'll tell you what the situation is: The situation is that it's an important question."
"I would not say that the future is necessarily less predictable than the past - I think the past was not predictable when it started."
"I also know that stating what might be preferable, er, is simply stating what might be preferable."
"Well, um, something's neither good nor bad but thinking makes it so, I suppose - as Shakespeare said"
"It's like, you know, stirring for troubled waters."
"We do have a saying in America: if you're in a hole, stop digging ..... erm, I'm not sure I should have said that."
"For people to waste their time chasing that rabbit, only to run it down and find they've got the wrong rabbit, I think is a shame."
You know, it's the old glass box at the—At the gas station, where you're using those little things trying to pick up the prize, and you can't find it. It's— And it's all these arms are going down in there, And so you keep dropping it And picking it up again and moving it, But— Some of you are probably too young to remember those—Those glass boxes, But they used to have them At all the gas stations When I was a kid.
—Dec. 6, 2001, Department of Defense news briefing
HIS VIEW OF OUR ALLIES IN IRAQ
"Our allies are over there and we are here. Where would you rather be?"
HIS VIEWS ON WAR SECRECY
"By keeping in this silent mode we prove that our enemies won't know what we're doing any more than we do."
" I wasn't privee to that conversation, I was having sushi."
"Of course Mr. Ashcroft will try to avoid answering that, as I have. It is our right as Americans."
"I can assure you there's plenty of democracy going on behind closed doors."
"Secrecy unto itself is in itself relevant to the situation at hand at the time."
"My assessment of the current problem is for my ears only."
"That is classified beyond all recognition."
"If I said yes, that would then suggest that that might be the only place where it might be done which would not be accurate ... necessarily accurate ... it might also not be inaccurate, but I mean ... I'm disinclined to mislead anyone."
THE LOCATION OF BIN LADEN
"We do know of certain knowledge that he [Osama Bin Laden] is either in Afghanistan, or in some other country, or dead."
HIS COMMENTS ON HIS JOB
Once in a while, I'm standing here, doing something. And I think,” What in the world am I doing here?” It’s a big surprise.
—May 16, 2001, interview with the New York Times
THE NEWS MEDIA
You're going to be told lots of things. You get told things every day that don't happen.
It doesn't seem to bother people, they don't— It's printed in the press. The world thinks all these things happen. They never happened. Everyone's so eager to get the story before in fact the story's there that the world is constantly being fed Things that haven't happened. All I can tell you is, it hasn't happened. It's going to happen.
—Feb. 28, 2003, Department of Defense briefing
"The dumbest thing anyone could do would be to stand up here and start previewing things that somebody's thinking about or not thinking about or starting to disabuse you of each thing somebody tells you that we're thinking about, because then the first time we don't disabuse you, you'll say 'aha - that's what they're going to do!'
Donald Rumsfield has delivered his lines with a “dead pan” face of Jack Benny, the language skills of Archie Bunker, and the mind of confused old man. Its time for Play Dough with the grandkids Mr. Rumsfield. You’ve done your time.
Does everybody remember Comical Ali, the Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf who become a cult figure with his wild claims and colorful language.
He would stand before the world, every morning to brief the newsmen on the status of the War. He was Saddam’s man, charged with giving the Iraqi side of the story.
Here is a selection of some of Ali’s quotes:
On an air attack on Najaf, he said: "What they say about a breakthrough [in Najaf] is completely an illusion. They are sending their warplanes to fly very low in order to have vibrations on these sacred places . . . they are trying to crack the buildings by flying low over them."
Early in the campaign, al-Sahhaf accused the Allies of booby-trapping pencils.
"The authority of the civil defense ... issued a warning to the civilian population not to pick up any of those pencils because they are booby traps," he said. He added that British and American forces were "immoral mercenaries" and "war criminals".
At one point in the campaign, Al-Sahaf said the Iraqis had "shot down a lot of those cruise missiles" and said the war's impact was "trivial."
Who knew that Rumsfield would become Al-Sahaf’s american counterpart? Maybe Rumsfield has been this way for a while and his recent mega-exposure to the media highlighted the character flaws, which made him into this sad comical figure.
Here are some of the many unfortunate comments he has made:
THE KABUL SITUATION
Things will not be necessarily continuous. The fact that they are something other than perfectly continuous Ought not to be characterized as a pause. There will be some things that people will see. There will be some things that people won't see.
And life goes on.
—Oct. 12, 2001, Department of Defense news briefing
WMD IN IRAQ
"It's an enormous country - you know, it's bigger than Texas! [unclear word]'s big, I guess - I haven't looked lately."
"I have so many things to do at the Department of Defense," Rumsfeld said during an interview aboard his plane, which stopped in Ireland to refuel on the way back to Washington. "I made a conscious decision that I didn't need to stay current every 15 minutes on the issue. I literally did not ask. . . . I'm assuming he'll tell me if he'd gotten something we should know."
THE WAR IN IRAQ
'Oh my goodness, the requirement for dumb bombs was about ten times more than we thought we needed, and the requirement for smart bombs was, er, some multiple of what we actually thought we would need ... more - we needed more than we thought - then what you learn from that is that you learn to go back and change the quote requirement - and drop one and increase one."
CLARITY OF COMMUNICATIONS
" You're right, this is very confusing and will continue to be so."
"The only way I know how to reply to that is to give you my blank look!"
I think what you'll find, I think what you'll find is, whatever it is we do substantively, there will be near-perfect clarity. As to what it is.
And it will be known, and it will be known to the Congress, and it will be known to you, Probably before we decide it, but it will be known.
—Feb. 28, 2003, Department of Defense briefing
As we know, There are known knowns. There are things we know we know. We also know. There are known unknowns. That is to say we know there are some things We do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns, the ones we don't know we don't know.
-Feb. 12, 2002, Department of Defense news briefing
"I believe what I said yesterday ... I don't know what I said, er, but I know what I think, and ... well, I assume it's what I said."
"I'm inclined not to," the secretary replied. "I'll tell you what the situation is: The situation is that it's an important question."
"I would not say that the future is necessarily less predictable than the past - I think the past was not predictable when it started."
"I also know that stating what might be preferable, er, is simply stating what might be preferable."
"Well, um, something's neither good nor bad but thinking makes it so, I suppose - as Shakespeare said"
"It's like, you know, stirring for troubled waters."
"We do have a saying in America: if you're in a hole, stop digging ..... erm, I'm not sure I should have said that."
"For people to waste their time chasing that rabbit, only to run it down and find they've got the wrong rabbit, I think is a shame."
You know, it's the old glass box at the—At the gas station, where you're using those little things trying to pick up the prize, and you can't find it. It's— And it's all these arms are going down in there, And so you keep dropping it And picking it up again and moving it, But— Some of you are probably too young to remember those—Those glass boxes, But they used to have them At all the gas stations When I was a kid.
—Dec. 6, 2001, Department of Defense news briefing
HIS VIEW OF OUR ALLIES IN IRAQ
"Our allies are over there and we are here. Where would you rather be?"
HIS VIEWS ON WAR SECRECY
"By keeping in this silent mode we prove that our enemies won't know what we're doing any more than we do."
" I wasn't privee to that conversation, I was having sushi."
"Of course Mr. Ashcroft will try to avoid answering that, as I have. It is our right as Americans."
"I can assure you there's plenty of democracy going on behind closed doors."
"Secrecy unto itself is in itself relevant to the situation at hand at the time."
"My assessment of the current problem is for my ears only."
"That is classified beyond all recognition."
"If I said yes, that would then suggest that that might be the only place where it might be done which would not be accurate ... necessarily accurate ... it might also not be inaccurate, but I mean ... I'm disinclined to mislead anyone."
THE LOCATION OF BIN LADEN
"We do know of certain knowledge that he [Osama Bin Laden] is either in Afghanistan, or in some other country, or dead."
HIS COMMENTS ON HIS JOB
Once in a while, I'm standing here, doing something. And I think,” What in the world am I doing here?” It’s a big surprise.
—May 16, 2001, interview with the New York Times
THE NEWS MEDIA
You're going to be told lots of things. You get told things every day that don't happen.
It doesn't seem to bother people, they don't— It's printed in the press. The world thinks all these things happen. They never happened. Everyone's so eager to get the story before in fact the story's there that the world is constantly being fed Things that haven't happened. All I can tell you is, it hasn't happened. It's going to happen.
—Feb. 28, 2003, Department of Defense briefing
"The dumbest thing anyone could do would be to stand up here and start previewing things that somebody's thinking about or not thinking about or starting to disabuse you of each thing somebody tells you that we're thinking about, because then the first time we don't disabuse you, you'll say 'aha - that's what they're going to do!'
Donald Rumsfield has delivered his lines with a “dead pan” face of Jack Benny, the language skills of Archie Bunker, and the mind of confused old man. Its time for Play Dough with the grandkids Mr. Rumsfield. You’ve done your time.
# posted by Thomas @ 5:19 AM 
